Only God

Because we have been able to spend more time with Little Man, we've been able to learn a lot about him. His personality, his likes & dislikes, his health, his habits… the things you can only learn about someone by spending time with them. And we can say that only God could have known how perfectly he would fit into our family. We did a puzzle fundraiser asking people to donate to our adoption process and help piece together our family. Only God could have known that Little Man would be the perfect puzzle piece to our family. Here's some examples.

He's stubborn. If he wants to do something, he'll do it and usually with a smile on his face. If he doesn't, he won't. That doesn't mean he'll be kicking and screaming against it. He just won't do it - like when I mentioned in my last post about trying to find out why he wouldn't eat. We've also heard stories from his caretakers about deciding he didn't want to go to school one day… he just didn't want to & made it up in his mind that he wasn't going. We heard it was like WW3 trying to get him ready. How does this fit perfectly in our family? He could not have a better father than Trey, someone possibly more stubborn than Little Man.

He LOVES airplanes. We bought him a small dump truck, back hoe, and airplane for Christmas. I thought he hated the airplane since he wasn't playing with it. Then I heard he asked for an airplane from the school that donated gifts to the orphanage. And I noticed that he wouldn't let anyone else play with his airplane that we bought him. When Trey pointed out the airport when he stayed with us, he went crazy with excitement. The thing is, he's never lived in a town with an airport. He may have seen a few airplanes overhead, but they are pretty high when they fly over his village. So, we aren't sure how he learned about planes, but we know that he LOVES them. How does this fit perfectly in our family? Trey loves planes. He wasn't always the biggest fan of flying on them, but he loves watching them take off and land. We currently live just a few blocks from the airport and he likes to guess which airline is taking off when we hear it. Little Man is already just like his daddy.

He has sensitive skin. He has had rashes break out to very simple things. How does this fit perfectly in our family? This might sound silly, but I have sensitive skin, too! I know how to deal with sensitive skin issues and I can sympathize when it's bothering him.

The relationship between Little Man & Chandler can only be explained by God. Chandler doesn't try to say the names of any of the other kids at the orphanage, but she tries his. When she sees the kids she's happy and smiles, but when she sees him, she lights up and she runs to hug him. If she falls while she's playing, Little Man is the first to run to her, brush her off, and make sure she's ok. I can send him to find her and he comes back carrying her… she will only let him do this. It's pretty obvious how this fits perfectly in our family, but I just wanted to give some credit to God. I truly believe that he gave them a special relationship and bond with each other - the kind of bond only siblings can have. 

Only God could have known that one day we would be matched with the perfect little boy to join our family. Without Little Man knowing what would happen in his future, God made him the perfect fit for our family and for that I am grateful. These are only a few things of a growing list of how God made Little Man the perfect fit for our family.

Merry {first} Christmas!

While Trey was in Kenya, I found out some things about Little Man that I wasn't sure of. Based on his name, people had told us that he was from an Islamic family. I confirmed this by asking some of the older kids where he is currently living. They said they knew for sure because the first couple of days he was there he performed his prayers 5 times a day. Then when he realized no one else was doing it, he stopped. I had them ask him {he's still learning French and doesn't always understand mine :)} if he still knew the prayers. He said yes. My eyes began to open and my mind began to race and my heart began to melt. What did we ever do to deserve to be this kid's parents? What a privilege.

Trey returned the Monday before Christmas. Little Man asked me if he could be at the airport when "papa" came back. I told him unfortunately that wouldn't work out, but we would be back to see him soon. It worked out that Little Man {and a friend} were able to stay the night with us Tuesday night. This was HUGE. First, he got to see what our life was like. He got to see how we would love him in our home, provide for him, and essentially how things work in our home. Trey took him to see the beach for the first time. He tried {but didn't like} pizza. He played with blocks for the first time. He broke one of Chandler's toys, the first of many I'm sure. He opened his first Christmas gifts. And Chandler stole them, again not the only time this will happen. It was a great night. The next day I made lunch and he wasn't ready to eat. I asked him to eat since we needed to get on the road to head back to Sakété. He took a few bites, pushed the food away and walked out the front door. I thought he was going to play with Barley {the dog} as he had done before. Then I heard the gate to the road open and shut. I took off, yelling at Trey, afraid of what was going on. I go out to find him throwing up. We tried to ask him what was going on. He wouldn't talk. We asked if he wasn't feeling well. Silence. We assured him we weren't mad, just wanted to know why he threw up. Silence. We then got the friend {who's much older} to talk to him in the local language. Silence. So then we enlisted Rigo, the man who helps around our house and seems to have a way with kids. Rigo talked, Little Man answered. Apparently, he wasn't hungry, but thought I'd be mad if he didn't eat what I made him. So he tried, it hurt his stomach, so he threw it up. We told him it was ok. We weren't mad, just concerned. He then took a 2 hour nap - knocked out, snoring kind of nap - which he doesn't take naps anymore.

All in all, it was a good two days. But it only got better for this mama's heart. Remember when I said he came from an Islamic family, well that means that this Christmas was the first time he's ever celebrated Jesus' birth. I don't think that God made Trey sick so that we would be able to spend Christmas with Little Man, but I do think that God blessed us with the opportunity to spend his first Christmas with him in the midst of our trials. We sat there and watched as he heard the Christmas story for the first time. We watched as scripture was read and the birth of our Savior was made the most important. And then we watched as he excitedly opened his Christmas gifts. That night, we invited him to stay the night at our friend's apartment with us. He agreed to staying in the same room with us & Chandler. When bedtime came, tears started coming. We aren't sure exactly why… maybe he was just overwhelmed with everything, but eventually he made his way into our room and to the palette we made for him next to Chandler. I sat there and rubbed his back until he was asleep. Trey and I slept soundly having our 2 kids under one roof - our little family of four.

When we decided to adopt an older child, I accepted the fact that we wouldn't see a lot of his "firsts." You know, first smile, first laugh, first word, first steps, first solid foods, first holidays… all of those typical firsts. But God showed me differently. They may not be all the same "firsts" that Chandler had, but there are surprisingly a lot - first Christmas, first American food, first time at the beach, first time playing with blocks, and the list will go on and continue to grow.

We are still a little ways out from having Little Man permanently in our home, but every day is one step closer. And having days and nights like those mentioned above is an incredible insight into our future. We are so thankful that God has given us the opportunity to have another child and the opportunity to currently build a relationship with him. After we had Chandler, I wondered how it was possible to have more children and love them the same. I even asked other mothers how they did it. Their answer was that it just happens. Now, I understand. It just happens.

2014: The Last Quarter

October, November, & December went by so quickly. More quickly than I even had planned. We just wanted to give a little update on our lives these last three months.

October: We started the month apart - with Chandler & Kristen in South Africa & Trey headed to the US to start vacation. The girls then made a 16 hour flight {that is 16 hours… in the air… on the same plane… with a toddler!} to meet with Trey for vacation. We had a great time with family & friends - splitting our time between Pensacola & Panama City. We were even able to get in a FSU game while we were there.

November: We returned back to Benin to the end of rainy season and the beginning of dry & hot season. Thankfully we had a few more rains before it completely stopped. Our friend Anthony joined us for a few weeks in November. We, along with our supervisors and another colleague from West Africa, hosted an evangelism training for Baptist churches in 3 different cities. We traveled the furthest north we've ever traveled in Benin to Parakou. We ended the month with 2 Thanksgiving celebrations - first, at the US Ambassador's house and second, at our supervisor's house.

December: Based on our schedule, we thought this would be a slower month… at least until Christmas. Boy, were we wrong. The first two weeks we were just doing language. But then Trey got sick. He was sick enough for our IMB nurses & doctor to put him on the next flight out to get medical care in a better place. Kristen & Chandler went to spend time with Little Man and our friends in Sakété while Trey spent a week in Kenya getting all sorts of labs & tests done. He arrived back in Benin just 2 days before Christmas. We were thankful for a quick diagnosis! But it did change our Christmas plans a bit. We had planned to travel to Ghana & spend Christmas with colleagues there. Trey didn't get back in time for us to apply for the Ghana visas, so we changed our plans & spent Christmas in Sakété. We missed our friends in Ghana, but we couldn't have asked for a better Christmas. More to come about this in our next post! Trey then celebrated his 27th birthday at the beach! And we wrapped up 2014 with the loudest firecrackers we've ever heard {setting off firecrackers in-between a concrete wall & concrete house will do that}.

Here's to 2015 - a year that holds lots of anticipation, excitement, uncertainty, and faith.