Fatdi

This is a late, but still much needed post. The Lord has taught me a lot this past year and surprised me as well. I want to share with you one of the most difficult, but faithful times He’s given me. While we were in Burkina Faso we had “topics” to discuss every day with people in the community. One day was about death and how the community handles it. Our translator took us to her sister-in-law, Fatdi, who had recently lost her mom. I found out she was about my age and newly married. Already, there were so many similarities about our situations. 

We got to Fatdi’s place of business and she began to share with us about her experience. She shared how her mom had gotten sick and passed away just in the past few months. She went to the house to take care of the body and do the culturally appropriate things, but her family did not want her there since she is a Christian and they are all Muslim. Her aunts were very distraught and would not do any of the things that were appropriate for her mother. It was very difficult for Fatdi to watch the family disrespect both her and her mother.

She then began to talk about while her mother was sick how she had prayed for healing. She wanted so bad for her to be well. Their relationship was very close, even though the rest of the family had shunned Fatdi since becoming a Christian. She didn’t want to go through life without her mother. At this point, I completely understood everything she was thinking and feeling, yet could not even begin to comprehend being cut of from the rest of my family. I shared with her my story, and how the Lord had shown Himself even in such a difficult situation.

Fatdi then shared her testimony of coming to the Lord. She began to seek and went to a church that wrapped their arms around her and welcomed her. They helped her to understand Truth. Once she let her family know she had become a Christian her father threw her out. She stayed with her aunt and then with her grandmother before she could be on her own. Even though both of them did not agree with her, they wanted to support her. Her mother felt the same way, she continued to follow Islam, but did everything she could for her daughter. She began to sneak Fatdi’s personal items out of the house so Fatdi could have them. Eventually her father found out and said because it was her mother, there was nothing he could do. Later Fatdi decided to marry another Christian. Again, her father did not support her and even said that God would not bless her marriage since she was not following Islam. In the culture, the bride’s family has certain things to provide for the wedding. Her mother was forbidden to give her anything, against her will, of course. Fatdi’s church family reached out and provided everything the bride’s family was supposed to. Fatdi’s family attended her wedding and were shocked at the fact that she had everything she needed for the wedding. They left without even eating because of their astonishment. 

Fatdi shared with us story after story of how the Lord had provided for her. These stories are what has made her faith so strong. Her church family has become like real family to her. With everything that has been great, she still has the burden of being cut off from her blood family. One of the greatest struggles since her mother has passed away is not being able to bear a child. This is so important in her culture. The conversations she has had recently with her father have not been helpful either. He has told her that because she is a Christian she cannot get pregnant, but if she were to return to Islam she would have a child. She told us how she knew this wasn’t true and she was trusting the Lord to provide so that she could be a witness to her family.

During a difficult time in high school, the Lord showed me a passage in 2 Corinithians 1: 3-4 that says, " Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort which we ourselves are comforted by God." Any time I go through a difficult situation this passage comes to mind. I know that I may not understand why something is happening, but I know He’s faithful to provide an opportunity to be able to comfort someone else. This day, I was about to see His faithfulness. One of the greatest things Fatdi said to me that day was that she was encouraged because she had no idea that people from America go through difficult times. I sat there and thought about how losing my mom was difficult, but I never went through being shunned from my family. Her strong faith encouraged me so much.

Urban Church

While we were in our "urban" African training, we attended church with Trey's translator and then ate lunch with his family. We've been to what we would consider "urban" churches and village churches in our home country. This church, even being in a city, had more of a village feel. It's a church plant in a neighborhood and pretty small. We walk into the compound and see a small office "building" on the right, and in front of us 3 walls with a tin roof for the church building and plastic chairs for seating. We've been to "urban" churches here before, but this was nice since it was a new church. We enjoyed the time there. We had some worship with just our voices, a drum set, & a djembe. During the worship time, the children from the surrounding community came into the compound and had a good 'ole time dancing & singing. They told us later they had been able to form a children's ministry through this. Next, we had a time of testimony where Trey shared his testimony, and others shared about how the Lord is working in their lives. During the testimony time, we also enjoyed a song from a lady in the church - not necessarily on key, but the was definitely joy in her worship. And it ended with 2 songs by the children - maybe one of these days our internet will be decent enough to upload the video :) We then had a short sermon and closed out the service.

After the service, we walked to Trey's translator's house for lunch with him & his family. The food we ate was good - traditional African food. We had seasoned rice, spinach, and meat that's a little too tough to chew. We also had some delicious lime juice & bissap juice (google it, maybe there's an American version). So, you know we all have things that are scary and intimidating when doing something new. I was a little afraid I wouldn't like the food and would have a hard time pretending like I did. I didn't have that problem, however, I did encounter another problem.

Remember how I said that meat was a little too tough to chew?? Well, it's also a little too tough to cut, especially when the only utensil we had was a spoon. I was doing pretty good getting small enough bites and chew long enough to eventually swallow it. And then I had a problem... I got a piece that was a little too big and a little too tough. I had been chewing on this piece for what seemed like forever, tried to swallow, and it didn't go in my favor. I begin to choke on the meat as it's stuck in my throat. Trey is trying to talk to me to help me and then jumps up and gets ready to preform the heimlich maneuver. The wife of the household jumps up to get a bowl to help me and next thing I know, I'm beginning to throw up! Oh, what a nightmare! The bowl came at the perfect time, and I was completely fine. This was one of those moments when I was thankful that I could blame things on my pregnancy and she would understand, since she's had three kids. I was soooo embarrassed and felt absolutely horrible. After that, I tried to not stop complimenting how delicious the food was. They were really nice and understanding. And of course, after it was all over and I was ok, Trey was excited to have a good story to share :) He definitely has a funny version of the experience, sound effects and all. My lesson learned, no more big bites with tough meat.

bye bye for a bit

We've grown up in a generation that is constantly connected. Our generation is addicted to Facebook, Twitter, cell phones, etc. It's hard for us to remember life before Google and only having home phone lines. We are constantly connected.

For the next month we will be unconnected. That's a strange feeling for us. We will be spending time at a training a few countries to the left. We're really looking forward to this time. We'll spend time in 3 different African settings - urban, rural, and in a family's home. We will have daily assignments in the community to help us better understand culture and living here.

So, this is us signing off for a little bit. When we return to the world of connectivity we will have many stories, pictures, and updates. Please pray for us during this month. Pray for our learning, our strength, our health, and our lack of connection with friends and family. Pray for those leading the training and the others attending it with us. We will update here as soon as we are connected again. Bye bye for a bit!

it's a GIRL!

On Friday, we found out we're having a girl! We both actually thought it was a girl - not sure why I did... I guess a feeling. The night before the appointment Trey had a dream it was a girl - and that as an infant she actually talked to him & gave him a high five. We went to the doctor's appointment hoping we'd find out the gender, but not positive since I am only 17.5 weeks. Our doctor checked everything out - the skull, the spine, the organs (which he would point out every one he was looking at and we just nodded in approval), the legs and arms, and then we went on a hunt for the gender. It was a little difficult since her legs were crossed and knees held closely together. At first, he said 80% sure it's a girl, and after another view said more it confidently. Of course, we were excited to learn the gender, but it was also fun to see something that actually looked like a baby and not a blob. I mean, sometimes she looked a little freaky, like when it would focus on the skeleton :) but she's absolutely beautiful, and definitely a little lady. The baby was measuring closer to 19 weeks, 10 days ahead of what we thought... so soon we will have a pool for the actual birth date, since the due date ranges from March 8th-18th! She was very comfortable through the entire ultrasound and only moved a few times. I tried to pay attention to what it felt like when she moved so I could feel it later, but I didn't feel anything. Everyone says I'll feel her soon enough. We've chosen a girl's name, but for now we're just sharing with friends & family (and still trying to settle on a middle name. We leave you with a picture of our precious little skeleton.

language learning

Can we talk for just a minute about language learning? And not just learning another language, but learning another language in a country where English is widely spoken. Learning a new language is never easy. In high school we were required to take a foreign language. I took French because there was 1 French teacher and she was easy and 3 Spanish teachers, only one of which was easy. Clearly, French was the best option. And I enjoyed it too. However, there are very few things I can remember in the French language. I know some basic Spanish (like 1-10 and how are you) because it's easy to pick up in America. And when I went to Ecuador and was submersed in the language, it seemed easy to pick up. English, French, and Spanish all have similarities. They've all be relatively easy to learn, even just the basics.

Here, we're learning Hausa. Hausa is not like English... in any way, shape, or form. I take that back, it uses the same alphabet, minus 3 or 4 letters. It sounds different. Hausa uses tones... of which I cannot hear. Take for instance the word gibi. Depending on the tone it can mean the Lord's Supper or it can mean the day after tomorrow. There's a big difference in those two things. In Hausa, you roll your r's and "swallow" some of the sounds. Not to mention, as with most languages, there are different dialects. There are places that use the p sound where an f is. There are places where people use a word to mean husband that in other parts mean a married women's boyfriend. We are doing barefoot language learning - meaning, we each have a helper that comes 4 times a week and we tell them what we need to know. And even though they speak good English, sometimes it takes some time to get across what we need to learn.

We had our first assessment about 6 weeks ago, and we both passed. But sometimes it's just really hard to progress to the next level. For me, I can understand a lot more than I can speak. I understand it because I know a few words in the sentence and use context clues (there's an elementary school teacher out there smiling because I still use context clues) to figure out what they're saying. Trey is great at speaking the language, but he doesn't always understand what is being asked of him. I would say we make a pretty good team. When we were traveling the other day we stopped at a checkpoint and Trey greeted the police in Hausa. They got excited, as they always do when we speak Hausa to them, and began to ask him more questions. I relayed what the officer asked to Trey and he then responded in almost perfect Hausa. Like I said, a good team.

Language learning isn't always easy, nor is it always fun. But what is fun is seeing the response we get from people. With English so widely spoken, they don't expect ex-pats to learn Hausa. When we can greet someone, answer simple questions, and tell them we're learning Hausa and we understand "kadun-kadun" (small-small) it changes the whole mood of everyone involved in the conversation. It shows people that you care enough to talk to them in their heart language. We've been at it for about 2 months and today was our last day with our helpers for at least a month. It will be difficult to come back and jump right in where we left off. We will forget things, and that's a little frustrating. So, pray that we will retain more than we think and we'll be able to continue to learn and pick it up quickly.

pink or blue?

When we found out we were pregnant, I could not wait to find out what we were having. Trey would be ok with not finding out, but I'm a planner and at least with this child, I want to know. Almost immediately I began searching online for ways to tell when you're having. We began discussing names for boy or girl. It's been easy to decide on a girl's name, not so much for a boy's name. Anyway, I decided for fun that I'd make a post about old wives' tales for gender & give you my personal results before letting you know the official word from the doctor :) So, I did a google search and found 10 wives' tales to test. (and no, this picture is not me - simply another google find.)

Sweet or Salty

Supposedly cravings can determine the gender. They say craving sweets & it's a girl. Craving salty (or sour, which I'm not sure those two tastes even go together) it's a boy.

Results: I could basically open our salt shaker and drink it. Anything sweet I eat has to be followed by something salty. However, I have had a random craving for chocolate milk, but that's probably because it's just not that easy to get here. Anyway, salty cravings would indicate a boy.

Baby's Heartbeat
They say 140+ beats is a girl, and below 140 beats is a boy.
Results: We've ranged from 140-160 bpm. This would indicate a girl.

Shape of Belly

They say you can tell gender by the way the mother is carrying. If you're carrying high and it's shaped like a watermelon, it's a girl. If you're carrying low and it's like a basketball, it's a boy.

Results: Well, since I'm not exactly showing very much, this one is hard. However, I do feel that I'm carrying low, but that could change easily. For the fun of this post, we'll give this one to the boys.

Chinese Birth Chart
Basically, you can go to this website and fill in the information. They'll tell you the gender prediction according to the Chinese calendar.
Results: The Chinese say it's a girl.

Mayan's Prediction (of course we have to get cultural here.. first Chinese, now Mayan)

The Mayan's based gender prediction on the mother's age at conception & the year of conception. If both are even or odd, it's a girl. If they are opposite, one even one odd, it's a boy.

Results: The Mayan's say it's a girl.

Side You Rest On
If you tend to lay on your left side to rest, it's a boy. Right side, it's a girl.
Results: Typically I lay on my left side. I can prove this because I wake up in the morning with my left ear feeling bruised. I guess I have a heavy head :) This vote is boy.

Morning Sickness
They say if you have an easy pregnancy with not much nausea, it's a boy. If you're really sick with lots of morning sickness, a girl.
Results: I'm in my second trimester and total threw up twice (TMI, I know). Talking to my doctor about the pregnancy he said, "It seems like you're having an easy pregnancy." I feel the same way, since I know people who've been much more sick than me. I also know people who have had the opposite of this wives' tale, however, according to this, it's a boy.

Acne

Yes, no one really likes to talk about it or deal with it, but hormones can bring it out. The old wives' tale says that if the mother is breaking out, the baby girl is stealing her beauty.

Results: I seriously have never had acne this bad. It's horrible. So, if this child is stealing my beauty, it better be beautiful :) This would indicate a girl.

Headaches

If you're having headaches during pregnancy, you're carrying a boy.

Results: I've definitely had some headaches. A couple have knocked me out for the day. This indicates a boy.

Baby Names
Supposedly if you can only agree on a name for either a boy or a girl, that's what you're having.
Results: Like I said at the beginning, we can only agree on a girl's name. In fact, we have several girl's names we like and agree on, even for future children, but this boy name is killer. I guess this means a girl.

So, according to these "tests" it's 50/50 :) I guess we will just have to wait and see!

weekend in the capital city

We have a great family back home (and friends too!). There were some things that didn't make it in our suitcases when we first came here and some things we've realized we wanted/needed since arriving. Not to mention, adding a pregnancy to the mix and things that come along with it. Our great family and friends compiled all of those things, packed them in a suitcase, and got them to a group in the states coming for a trip. We had to go to the capital city to pick it up from the group and decided to treat ourselves with some time away.

When we got to town, the family we traveled with took us to get pizza. This was awesome, because of course I had been craving pizza :) I like all sorts of pizza back home, but the one time I've ordered pizza here it took an hour to make and ended up being the wrong thing. Here, we were easily able to order, watch them make our pizza, put it in the oven, and it was out all within 15-20 minutes. And it was delicious!

Delicious, yummy, satisfying pizza

The first night we stayed at an American hotel. It was a little pricey, but we decided to treat ourselves :) The room was nothing fancy, but it did have AC, TV, and room service. There was an American style steak house at the hotel that we splurged at for dinner. I'm not necessarily a steak fan, but this steak was pretty dang good. And Trey was more than happy with his steak.

the bread!

Kristen's steak

Trey's steak & baked potatoes - with the works

The next morning we spent some time walking around the hotel, deciding on what all the foreigners were doing there. We headed to our company's guest house before lunch to meet the group that brought our goodies. To get there, we used an old fashion GPS, a.k.a. me & a map. We're lucky we made it there since I'm horrible with directions :) We had so much fun sorting through everything that was sent to us. We spent time with the group talking about what they're doing here and hearing their heart for all to hear the Good News.

GPS

Our goodies - filled with maternity clothes, new clothes for Trey,
supplies, sheets, painting canvases, and so much more!

Happy Trey with his new hat 

new rainbows = excited floridians 

We didn't go out until after 4:00 since it was Friday afternoon and half the city closes down for Friday Mosque. We've seen a lot of mosque's since being here, but this one is by far the most beautiful. It's the national mosque. Looking at it I thought it's so sad that something so beautiful on the outside can teach something so deceitful.

Saturday we spent driving around, enjoying the "modern" city. Seriously, with it's divided highways, smooth roads, big buildings, almost constant power, and some decent public transportation, it's the most modern city we've been in here. We even were taken to a grocery store that could make us forget we're in West Africa, that is until the power went out and they switched to the generator :) We made our way over to another restaurant where we enjoyed some delicious humus dip - comparable to Red Elephant's humus dip. We were even offered ice for our drinks. We just looked at each other and laughed. We decided against the ice since we weren't sure if it came from filtered water, but just to be offered it was nice.

What, you mean you've never seen a soccer game in the middle of an off ramp?

public restroom - or lack thereof.

Humus & Pita Bread

We really enjoyed the time away and yes, we realize that a lot of it was focused on food :) We are excited that we get to go back this weekend since we are flying out for some training. We hear there's a pretty awesome pool at a different hotel that we plan to spend some time at :)