A lot of what we've learned over the past year is about differences in culture. I mean, we all know there are different cultures out there, but until you live in another culture you cannot fully grasp the differences. Obviously, I've been pregnant for almost a full 9 months now and that has consumed much of my time and energy. Most of that time was spent living in Africa and also not really "showing" my pregnancy. The last little bit has been spent in the southern USA and clearly showing my pregnancy. There are many differences in these cultures, but I wanted to share with you a little about the different views on pregnancy. Now, understand, these things are not true for all of Africa, but at least the country we were in :)
When I first found out I was pregnant we had been in Africa for 2 weeks. In America we are careful to share about a pregnancy before 12 weeks since the miscarriage rate is high. We, of course, shared with our family and friends back home and also those we were close with overseas. In trying to figure out when is appropriate to talk about pregnancy in our new home, I found out that it's never really appropriate, especially when you're not showing. There are a lot of superstitions in Africa and many people believe that if you talk about the baby before it's born something could happen to them. Because of that I went into "careful" mode... being careful about who I told and how I told them.
Once I finally started showing, around 6 months pregnant, very few people would say things to me. I remember the time someone actually said something to me about being pregnant. We were flying back from Burkina Faso and we had packed full a suitcase with canned foods & bags of chips that we couldn't get at home. Because of that, our suitcase got stopped at a security check. We ran to open the bag for them so they could see we didn't have anything bad in there. The suitcase was packed so full that I had to sit on it to close it. The security guy said, "Yes, momma, you and your baby close that!" I just laughed because finally someone said something about me being pregnant. After that, it was rare. Again, even though I'm showing, something could happen to the baby. The people who talked about it the most were those who have been around Americans & other expats a lot. And then, they would ask how the baby is moving and that they are praying she is healthy.
Toward the end of my time there I was getting bigger (naturally) and my favorite saying became, "We will pray for twins." Yes, many in the market, at check points on the road, and really just anyone who didn't know me would tell me they are praying for twins. When we would tell them we are only having one, they would laugh and say again they will pray for twins. One guy even told me he would be praying for triplets! That became my favorite. We have all the technological advances to know that we're only having one baby, but the culture there says twins are better, therefore, that is what they will pray for!
Upon landing in America, I was bombarded with pregnancy comments. Nothing terribly bad, but when you've rarely heard anything about it for the last 7 months, to have almost everyone you pass comment on it is a little overwhelming. The flight attendants went out of their way to make sure I was comfortable. A pregnant woman in Africa would not let up on her daily chores to be more comfortable, so comfort wasn't necessarily a question I heard there. The first store we went in at the airport, a guy told us his horror story of his girlfriend giving birth. Why, thank you sir, just what I wanted to hear. And now I get the dreaded, "You're about to pop!" or "What are you having?" and "Do you have a name picked out?" Now, I know I'm not in Africa anymore, but I can tell you they wouldn't be asking me what I'm having, just continue to say they're praying for twins and praying for a safe delivery. And they definitely would not be asking about a name. We told some ladies that we had a name picked out before we left and they were shocked. Their children have a naming ceremony 8 days after they are born. Before that, there is no name. They might have ideas of a name, but nothing set in stone. This goes back to the idea of something might happen to the baby if we give them a name. Also, naming is much different. Most people have several names and they all have meanings behind them. Our poor child's name means "candle maker," but for us, we like the name and that's what matters.
After leaving overseas for 7 months, I'm still amazed at cultural differences. Things happen to me daily in America that I think, that would never happen in West Africa. And vice-versa. I love learning about these differences, and adding a pregnancy to the mix just made it more fun. I'm sure having a newborn will bring a lot more cultural differences that I'll be able to share!
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