she's just a kid...

When we arrived here, we were introduced to a young girl (mid-teens) who would be available this summer to help watch Chandler while I was doing language study. We'll call her "Frances." Frances is sweet. We cannot communicate with her because she speaks French, and at the time, we could only say Bon Jour! Over time we have gotten to a place where we can communicate with each other. Often, not in full sentences, but between her broken English and our broken French AND the little bit of Hausa we both know, we communicate. We've grown to love her.

We knew that she would soon be going back to school and we'd have to figure out something else during language so I can fully focus. We also knew that she is promised to be married next year. That's not abnormal in her culture. She's from an Islamic family and her people group is still very traditional when it comes to marriage. They typically marry young. Most girls don't go to school because they're learning what to do to be a wife & mother. Even though we cannot talk to her on any deep level, we've tried to show her the Love of Christ through our actions. She seems to enjoy hanging out at our house. And if the baby is sleeping, she really enjoys helping in our language lessons, even gets a good laugh out of it.

Yesterday, we got some news. One of our language helpers was talking with Frances' uncle and asked that he share the news with us. Remember, Frances is supposed to be married next summer. The news, you ask... she's getting married next week. NEXT WEEK!

My heart is heavy on so many levels. I know that this is cultural to be married this young. I know it in my head, but I don't understand it. When I look at Frances, I see my younger cousins. I love those 3 girls with all my heart. As they're enjoying high school and no where near thinking about marriage, a girl their same age on the other side of the ocean is having to deal with so many emotions. And even being cultural, I still see that she's a teenage girl. I don't like not being able to understand these parts of culture. My heart is heavy too because she's not a believer. There's nothing saying she still cannot accept Christ. She is definitely not too far from His reach, but marriage makes it much more difficult. She will be very very submissive to her husband. I'm not sure he knows that she works for and spends time with Christians. If he doesn't, I wonder how he'll react to that.

We've been invited to the wedding. Even asked to buy some of the wedding cloth (matching outfits for the Fondrens!). It's an absolute honor to be invited and included. But it is such a bitter-sweet moment for me. I'm thankful that we're making relationships here that allow us to be invited to important events and at the same time I'm heart broken for Frances.

There are so many things in this situation to pray for. Pray first for her salvation. And not only hers, but her husband's and her family's. Pray for her emotions. Many of us know what it's like to be married, but I cannot fathom doing it so young. Pray for her future, that her & her husband will have a relationship and it won't just be an arrangement. And pray for us, as we figure all of this out and attend the ceremonies. Pray that we will be able to not only know what this culture does, but understand it as well.