A lot of what we've learned over the past year is about differences in culture. I mean, we all know there are different cultures out there, but until you live in another culture you cannot fully grasp the differences. Obviously, I've been pregnant for almost a full 9 months now and that has consumed much of my time and energy. Most of that time was spent living in Africa and also not really "showing" my pregnancy. The last little bit has been spent in the southern USA and clearly showing my pregnancy. There are many differences in these cultures, but I wanted to share with you a little about the different views on pregnancy. Now, understand, these things are not true for all of Africa, but at least the country we were in :)
When I first found out I was pregnant we had been in Africa for 2 weeks. In America we are careful to share about a pregnancy before 12 weeks since the miscarriage rate is high. We, of course, shared with our family and friends back home and also those we were close with overseas. In trying to figure out when is appropriate to talk about pregnancy in our new home, I found out that it's never really appropriate, especially when you're not showing. There are a lot of superstitions in Africa and many people believe that if you talk about the baby before it's born something could happen to them. Because of that I went into "careful" mode... being careful about who I told and how I told them.
Once I finally started showing, around 6 months pregnant, very few people would say things to me. I remember the time someone actually said something to me about being pregnant. We were flying back from Burkina Faso and we had packed full a suitcase with canned foods & bags of chips that we couldn't get at home. Because of that, our suitcase got stopped at a security check. We ran to open the bag for them so they could see we didn't have anything bad in there. The suitcase was packed so full that I had to sit on it to close it. The security guy said, "Yes, momma, you and your baby close that!" I just laughed because finally someone said something about me being pregnant. After that, it was rare. Again, even though I'm showing, something could happen to the baby. The people who talked about it the most were those who have been around Americans & other expats a lot. And then, they would ask how the baby is moving and that they are praying she is healthy.
Toward the end of my time there I was getting bigger (naturally) and my favorite saying became, "We will pray for twins." Yes, many in the market, at check points on the road, and really just anyone who didn't know me would tell me they are praying for twins. When we would tell them we are only having one, they would laugh and say again they will pray for twins. One guy even told me he would be praying for triplets! That became my favorite. We have all the technological advances to know that we're only having one baby, but the culture there says twins are better, therefore, that is what they will pray for!
Upon landing in America, I was bombarded with pregnancy comments. Nothing terribly bad, but when you've rarely heard anything about it for the last 7 months, to have almost everyone you pass comment on it is a little overwhelming. The flight attendants went out of their way to make sure I was comfortable. A pregnant woman in Africa would not let up on her daily chores to be more comfortable, so comfort wasn't necessarily a question I heard there. The first store we went in at the airport, a guy told us his horror story of his girlfriend giving birth. Why, thank you sir, just what I wanted to hear. And now I get the dreaded, "You're about to pop!" or "What are you having?" and "Do you have a name picked out?" Now, I know I'm not in Africa anymore, but I can tell you they wouldn't be asking me what I'm having, just continue to say they're praying for twins and praying for a safe delivery. And they definitely would not be asking about a name. We told some ladies that we had a name picked out before we left and they were shocked. Their children have a naming ceremony 8 days after they are born. Before that, there is no name. They might have ideas of a name, but nothing set in stone. This goes back to the idea of something might happen to the baby if we give them a name. Also, naming is much different. Most people have several names and they all have meanings behind them. Our poor child's name means "candle maker," but for us, we like the name and that's what matters.
After leaving overseas for 7 months, I'm still amazed at cultural differences. Things happen to me daily in America that I think, that would never happen in West Africa. And vice-versa. I love learning about these differences, and adding a pregnancy to the mix just made it more fun. I'm sure having a newborn will bring a lot more cultural differences that I'll be able to share!
Monday, March 4, 2013
Saturday, March 2, 2013
visit to west africa
Better late than never... Trey's dad (Carl) and our friend Dustin were able to come visit us and experience a little bit of our lives in West Africa. I want to share the time with some pictures, but I'm going to have Trey's dad share a post about his favorite stories while there. I think it would be better to hear from him first hand than hear the stories from me :) They brought us all sorts of goodies for the baby & for us to enjoy (like bacon!). Cairo enjoyed us opening all of these American treats. her favorite was the ping pong balls. I think she enjoyed them more than Trey did! Later in the week they had the opportunity to have a "snowball" fight with students at a local international school. I'm pretty sure the adults had more fun than the kiddos.
cairo - a.k.a. super dog
We LOVE dogs. We're dog people. I had 1 dog in my childhood and always wanted more. Trey had several dogs in his childhood, but always wanted a big dog. When Trey was in college he got Nala, a sweet German Shepherd. She was a surprise to his parents, but quickly won them over. When I moved to Birmingham I adopted Maddie from the humane society. She's a cuddle bug with overact paws and not always the brightest, but she'll make you laugh. We had both of them as puppies and watched them grow up. We love playing and interacting with them. We knew it would not be long for us to get a dog in Africa.
So we got Cairo - another German Shepherd who seems to be the perfect mix of our previous 2 dogs. The first couple of days she wasn't too sure about us. We could tell she had probably been beaten. We got her to liven up and start playing, only to find she has super powers. Cairo can fly. I personally have never seen a dog do this until Cairo. She jumps, with all fours and no hesitation. Who cares if she lands on her head, at least it was fun!
So we got Cairo - another German Shepherd who seems to be the perfect mix of our previous 2 dogs. The first couple of days she wasn't too sure about us. We could tell she had probably been beaten. We got her to liven up and start playing, only to find she has super powers. Cairo can fly. I personally have never seen a dog do this until Cairo. She jumps, with all fours and no hesitation. Who cares if she lands on her head, at least it was fun!
Friday, January 25, 2013
storying
Who doesn't love a good story? We enjoy sitting and listening to stories. We enjoy sharing stories (I mean, isn't that what blogging is about?!). We enjoy watching TV and movies, both which tell a story. We enjoy reading a good book. Stories shape the world around us. Many of us grew up going to church and hearing stories from the Bible. Those stories stick with us throughout the years.
Being in Africa we've learned more about stories. Here many cultures are oral cultures. They did not have a writing system for many many years (and some still don't), so the way to share about their culture & history is through stories. In Ghana at our home stay, we were without power one night and sitting outside looking up at the stars. The husband of the house said that he remembers when he was a child sitting outside listening to his grandfather share stories. He looked forward to that every night.
One of our focuses while there was to share stories. We would learn a new Bible story everyday and then look for an opportunity to share it. I had the privilege of sharing the story of the Woman at the Well to a group of women in the market (John 4:1-30). At the end of the story they told me they had heard it before, since they go to the Catholic church. However, even though they knew the story, they said it blessed them that day. They sat and listened so attentively to what I had to share because it came from God's Word.
I wish I was like that. So often I hear a story from the Bible or even a sermon that I think I've "heard" before and I tune it out. If only I learned to listen more to those stories. I know God would use it to teach me every time.
Another thing I learned was something I already knew... but it really sunk it. I learned how relevant God's Word is to our lives. Often we'd ask women how we could pray for them and they would share with us a difficulty in their lives. I cannot tell you how many times God brought a story to my mind through their sharing and how many times I wanted to kick myself for not knowing the story well enough to share.
I left there challenged to learn more stories. I want to be able to encourage those around me through stories from the Bible. And I want to learn to do this while we're in the states as well. Because, like I said, we all love a good story.
Being in Africa we've learned more about stories. Here many cultures are oral cultures. They did not have a writing system for many many years (and some still don't), so the way to share about their culture & history is through stories. In Ghana at our home stay, we were without power one night and sitting outside looking up at the stars. The husband of the house said that he remembers when he was a child sitting outside listening to his grandfather share stories. He looked forward to that every night.
One of our focuses while there was to share stories. We would learn a new Bible story everyday and then look for an opportunity to share it. I had the privilege of sharing the story of the Woman at the Well to a group of women in the market (John 4:1-30). At the end of the story they told me they had heard it before, since they go to the Catholic church. However, even though they knew the story, they said it blessed them that day. They sat and listened so attentively to what I had to share because it came from God's Word.
I wish I was like that. So often I hear a story from the Bible or even a sermon that I think I've "heard" before and I tune it out. If only I learned to listen more to those stories. I know God would use it to teach me every time.
Another thing I learned was something I already knew... but it really sunk it. I learned how relevant God's Word is to our lives. Often we'd ask women how we could pray for them and they would share with us a difficulty in their lives. I cannot tell you how many times God brought a story to my mind through their sharing and how many times I wanted to kick myself for not knowing the story well enough to share.
I left there challenged to learn more stories. I want to be able to encourage those around me through stories from the Bible. And I want to learn to do this while we're in the states as well. Because, like I said, we all love a good story.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Romans 8:28
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
edit: First, let me say everything over here is fine! Our health is fine, the baby is fine. Nothing to worry about. This post is more about realizing where He is working in our lives and how that will all be pulled together for good and His glory.
edit: First, let me say everything over here is fine! Our health is fine, the baby is fine. Nothing to worry about. This post is more about realizing where He is working in our lives and how that will all be pulled together for good and His glory.
We all have Bible verses that speak to our hearts. I have different verses that the Lord reminds me of at different times. Today, He reminded me of Romans 8:28. The first time this verse really encouraged me was when I was a sophomore in high school and my last living grandparent had a stroke. My Papa meant so much to me and not knowing if he would make it through the next few days was heartbreaking. I committed that verse to memory knowing I would need encouragement from it again one day. That day came when the guy I thought I would marry broke up with me. And again when I thought I was following His direction by transferring to FSU and suddenly I come down with mono and have to take time off from school. And again, when my Papa finally passed away. And yet again, when I moved to Birmingham to take a job, knowing that's where I was supposed to be even though it wouldn't be easy. And again, when that job was going to be taken away from me. And again, when my mom got sick and eventually passed away.
And again, He reminded me of that verse today. This last year has not been easy on us. We've been through a lot of transition. We've moved across the world to a living situation that is not the easiest. We're away from our family and friends and have made new friends. Only one thing in our lives hasn't changed and that's the faithfulness of God. Today, as we sat and faced a new reality in our lives, God reminded me of this verse. He is working all of these things together for good. I may not understand the good. I may never see the good. But none of that matters. All that matters is that He is in control and His purpose will reign.
Today has been a difficult day for us. And periodically we have those really difficult, "I'm not sure I can live here", "I want to go back to the states" days. But He is faithful to remind me of this verse. I'm so thankful for that reminder today.
opening my mouth
It's amazing what happens when we open our mouths. And it's sad that the Lord has to constantly remind me of what He will do will I'm obedient in opening my mouth. In scripture, He has called us to go and tell the world what He has done in our lives. He didn't tell us to go and make friendships with the people you'll meet. He knows that will happen. He didn't tell us to go and give them suggestions on how they can have a better life here on earth, teaching them "American ways." He didn't tell us to go and learn the language so that you can buy veggies in the market. He told us to go and tell, because there are people who have never heard the truth about Me.
While in Ghana in November during our training, we had a night time assignment. Part of the assignment was to see what the village was like during the evening hours... who was out and about, what you could buy, who you could talk to, etc. We were also challenged to share our testimony or Bible stories with people we met along the way. I went out that night with 2 other ladies and a translator. We first went to a house and another lady shared her testimony with the women in the compound. They were all very encouraged by her testimony and shared how they have chosen to follow the Lord. We asked how we could pray for them and did just that. And I enjoyed listening to Trisha share her testimony and learned ways to share mine more clearly.
We left and walked to a busy part of town, the "car park." This is where people can catch a taxi or bus to other parts of the country. They come in and rest for the night. There are women out cooking and selling food to the passer-throughs. We found a group of ladies and I asked if I could share a story with them. I began to share my testimony and shared how because of Christ I can be connected with God again. There were several women around, but I noticed 3 that were listening very intently. Now, let me just say I've shared my testimony a lot in my life. I've been a follower of Jesus for almost 20 years now and He's given me lots of opportunities to share. The next thing that happened should NOT have taken me by surprise, but it did. At the end of sharing my personal story, I asked if they had any questions. One of the three ladies asked, "How do I follow Jesus?" And here again, I'm amazed by Him. Along with the translator we walked through what it means to be a follower of Jesus. They asked some more questions and said they wanted to follow Him that night. We talked about it being a lifetime commitment and a change of their heart. At this point, one woman got upset and said she wanted nothing to do with this and left. That night I led them in a prayer to follow Christ. Only the Lord knows who made a true commitment to Him in that moment. I think about those women often, praying for the the ones who just listened to my story that the Lord will continue to bring it up in their minds. And I think about those 3 women who were listening so intently and had questions. I pray that the commitment they made that night was genuine and that one day I will see their faces in Heaven.
Like I said earlier, I've opened my mouth and shared my testimony many times before. And most of those times no one has responded, but He reminded me that evening that it's only my responsibility to speak. He'll do the rest. What a burden lifted. I cannot save anyone. I can only share about what He's done in my life.
While in Ghana in November during our training, we had a night time assignment. Part of the assignment was to see what the village was like during the evening hours... who was out and about, what you could buy, who you could talk to, etc. We were also challenged to share our testimony or Bible stories with people we met along the way. I went out that night with 2 other ladies and a translator. We first went to a house and another lady shared her testimony with the women in the compound. They were all very encouraged by her testimony and shared how they have chosen to follow the Lord. We asked how we could pray for them and did just that. And I enjoyed listening to Trisha share her testimony and learned ways to share mine more clearly.
We left and walked to a busy part of town, the "car park." This is where people can catch a taxi or bus to other parts of the country. They come in and rest for the night. There are women out cooking and selling food to the passer-throughs. We found a group of ladies and I asked if I could share a story with them. I began to share my testimony and shared how because of Christ I can be connected with God again. There were several women around, but I noticed 3 that were listening very intently. Now, let me just say I've shared my testimony a lot in my life. I've been a follower of Jesus for almost 20 years now and He's given me lots of opportunities to share. The next thing that happened should NOT have taken me by surprise, but it did. At the end of sharing my personal story, I asked if they had any questions. One of the three ladies asked, "How do I follow Jesus?" And here again, I'm amazed by Him. Along with the translator we walked through what it means to be a follower of Jesus. They asked some more questions and said they wanted to follow Him that night. We talked about it being a lifetime commitment and a change of their heart. At this point, one woman got upset and said she wanted nothing to do with this and left. That night I led them in a prayer to follow Christ. Only the Lord knows who made a true commitment to Him in that moment. I think about those women often, praying for the the ones who just listened to my story that the Lord will continue to bring it up in their minds. And I think about those 3 women who were listening so intently and had questions. I pray that the commitment they made that night was genuine and that one day I will see their faces in Heaven.
Like I said earlier, I've opened my mouth and shared my testimony many times before. And most of those times no one has responded, but He reminded me that evening that it's only my responsibility to speak. He'll do the rest. What a burden lifted. I cannot save anyone. I can only share about what He's done in my life.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
seriously, a different culture
I love to play board games. Card games, too. Really any kind of game with a group of friends hanging out having a good time is a game for me (except hide-n-seek in the dark, not a fan). Playing games in the states we always talk about luck. "The luck of the draw" or say things about the dealer not dealing us a good hand. It's about pointing the blame for a good hand or a bad hand on luck or another person in the room. And it can be about strategy. Making a conscience effort to play the game a specific way so that we win. I'm not good a strategy games because I just like to enjoy myself. Anyway, that's how we play games in our culture.
The other night we played a board game here. It's one we've played many times here, Ticket to Ride. It's a strategy game. We played it with a 2 other Americans and a national from here. He's a believer and a really great guy. As we began to play the game, he picked up another player's destination cards and began to whisper over them. We asked what he was doing and he said he was calling on his ancestors to put a curse on the cards. He was saying it jokingly and doing it to make us laugh. The rest of the game he would bring up his ancestors when he wanted something to go his way. I had to leave to use the restroom and I told Trey not to touch my cards or he would put a curse on Trey. Trey laughed and said that's not possible, I have the Holy Spirit. So I said ok, he'll put a curse on your cards. Everyone laughed.
Now, while this was a joke for us the whole night, it's a reality. It's something that we come into contact with often. The mindset here is just different than what we're used to. If something bad happens to a person, they began to think who could've put a curse on them to make it happen. I heard a story about a little girl who was very sick. She got to the point of her death bed and began to cry out for her mother. In my mind, that's a very natural thing. I still want my mom when I'm just sick with a cold! In the culture here, the father saw that as the mother was the one who put the curse on the girl. The mother was outcast from the community because of this.
It's difficult to know how to approach this mindset. We don't understand it because we haven't grown up with it ingrained in us. How do we talk about God allowing all things to happen and it's not because someone else has called their ancestors on you? If you'd like to learn more about this mindset I encourage you to read Quest for Power by Robert C. Blaschke. It will really open your eyes to life in a culture that is controlled by the spiritual world.
The other night we played a board game here. It's one we've played many times here, Ticket to Ride. It's a strategy game. We played it with a 2 other Americans and a national from here. He's a believer and a really great guy. As we began to play the game, he picked up another player's destination cards and began to whisper over them. We asked what he was doing and he said he was calling on his ancestors to put a curse on the cards. He was saying it jokingly and doing it to make us laugh. The rest of the game he would bring up his ancestors when he wanted something to go his way. I had to leave to use the restroom and I told Trey not to touch my cards or he would put a curse on Trey. Trey laughed and said that's not possible, I have the Holy Spirit. So I said ok, he'll put a curse on your cards. Everyone laughed.
Now, while this was a joke for us the whole night, it's a reality. It's something that we come into contact with often. The mindset here is just different than what we're used to. If something bad happens to a person, they began to think who could've put a curse on them to make it happen. I heard a story about a little girl who was very sick. She got to the point of her death bed and began to cry out for her mother. In my mind, that's a very natural thing. I still want my mom when I'm just sick with a cold! In the culture here, the father saw that as the mother was the one who put the curse on the girl. The mother was outcast from the community because of this.
It's difficult to know how to approach this mindset. We don't understand it because we haven't grown up with it ingrained in us. How do we talk about God allowing all things to happen and it's not because someone else has called their ancestors on you? If you'd like to learn more about this mindset I encourage you to read Quest for Power by Robert C. Blaschke. It will really open your eyes to life in a culture that is controlled by the spiritual world.
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